If 2020 was the year of shedding my Type A personality, 2021 was the year of figuring out how to live life on my own terms. Of choosing what truly matters to me, so that I may release what no longer serves my being. Here are the following lessons the past year has taught me. Let me know what insights this year has brought you. I'm here to listen.
On maturity
I get a lot of comments from people on how I am really mature for my age after hearing me discuss topics on love, life, and growth. I credit my insights to years of reading fiction narratives exploring complex human relationships. I also credit my widened perspective of the world to two years of living and studying with individuals of different creeds and cultures. In spite of all the knowledge I claim to have, just like any other human being, I am prone to making mistakes. Especially now, when emotions and tone of voice are not easily transmissible in the medium of texting. Every so often, I get told to have fun and enjoy my youth. To that I say: I honor my version of fun. It may look different, but it is in this variety that life is made more beautiful. I’m not in a hurry to age. I simply recognise what I do and don’t enjoy. As open minded as I am to exploring new things and new places, I respect myself enough to not endure uncomfortable situations for the sake of others’ convenience. To leave with grace and no personal feelings. Life is too short to sit through drinking sessions with the wrong people. I’ll be satisfied playing scrabble or assembling a 1000-piece puzzle with 3-4 friends.
On non-judgement
The three words that really aided me in the process of not judging others were: “Ila/Iya sad na.” It’s the bisaya equivalent of “That’s their thing” or “To each, their own”. The profundity of such a simple statement instantly allows me to recognise the subjective experiences that forms the opinions, preferences, and behavior of a person or group. And I cannot explain to you in words the ease in which I walk the world now that I understand that other peoples’ business is of no concern to me. This is not to say that I have become insensitive to the plight of others. I do not wish anything bad to happen to anyone, it just means I am more selective of what burdens lay heavy on my heart. This world can be too much, all at once, so the least I can do is take care of my heart and let others be.
On letting go
Boy, this was a tough one. When I graduated from high school in May, I knew it was going to be a tough process watching my friends go to new places and form new bonds. I only began feeling a sense of renewed hope for my own journey this October, when I visited Siargao. It was the first time since leaving Singapore that I did not check our Whatsapp group chat to see how they were doing. I was fully living in the present. In a tarot reading, there was a card indicating new energies entering my life. It was sad not checking up on my friends as much, but I made the choice to welcome a new family. It means more perspectives to learn from, more arguments, more ways of developing trust, and more journeys unfolding. And when Supertyphoon Odette hit, it meant letting go of plans, of future outcomes, of embracing the present more fully. Going through my camera roll, seeing videos and photographs I took of Siargao hurts immensely. This process of grieving for all that was lost will take some time. But just like emotions and thoughts, it will pass.
If you feel called to help the hundreds of families in the Philippines recover from the destruction of this storm, do share your blessings in the following donation channels:
For international donations towards rebuilding of family homes, please donate here | Seashine Siargao
For national (PH) and international donations towards rebuilding structures and homes, repairing damages onto farms and buying boats for fishermen, please donate here| Lokal Lab
For international donations towards the distribution of food, water, solar-powered lights, please donate here | Kids for Kids PH
For the deployment of water filtration systems in affected towns, please donate here | Waves for Water Philippines
Nothing ever is permanent on this earth. But while I am here, I will continue building a sense of community, creating from my soul, sharing my stories, and sending out good vibes to all who cross my path.
By reflecting on the most important lessons of the past year, I can begin the process of envisioning the next twelve months without forcing anything. I welcome any lessons, surprises, or obstacles with acceptance and compassion.
Love and light,
Amanda
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