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Writer's pictureAmanda Therese Bumagat

What Keeps You Up At Night?


Photo by Lux Graves on Unsplash


This question.


During the Fine Arts freshmen orientation, our department head asked us this question.

He said the aim of this program is to unearth our obsessions and train us to be fluent in communicating our ideas into tangible pieces of art.

And everything clicked. Suddenly all the questions in my head erupted forth and now are begging to be released. I never thought about using my obsessions as fuel for my art before. I always gravitated towards subjects and themes I thought I should paint or draw as opposed to what I want to paint or draw. I guess it comes from what society tells what kind of art sells and appeals to the masses.

Questions like: How do we connect more? What is your truth? Why are people so afraid to look deeper within themselves? Why are we sold lies? How can we push for a more honest and authentic society? Why is kindness never the default? Why are we lying to each other all the time? Why do we pretend? How can families be more open towards one another? How can we leave a better impact on the planet? What would our country look like had we never been colonised?

I spend more time thinking about the art I want to make than actually creating my art. Or even absorbing others’ art for that matter. There is a disparity with the ideas swirling around and my technical capabilities as an artist. It’s like wanting to write novels when my ABCs are still crooked. Anyhow, I’ll get there one step at a time, one sketch at a time.

For some reason, though this question has lead to more questions, I felt like I have created my purpose in life. I may not know if this will generate income for me to sustain my desired lifestyle (manifesting that it will though), but I will honestly die with a smile on my face knowing that my art made people think, reflect, ask themselves questions, and try to find the answers. Because I know that this is the influence that good art has had on me. And I want to make good art.

Though I may not stand the anachronistic methods used to teach general education subjects, I am so grateful that my teachers are people who push me to think outside of my echo chamber. Literally every class we have, they introduce 10+ names of either local or international artists that have made pieces I would never dream of. Each class is an opportunity to be inspired and lean away from the cliche and overused.

I am so so happy I took a gap year because it allowed me to choose the program that would ultimately make me grow. It is a privilege to have had the time to step back from school and be exposed to experiences that have led to making better decisions, but by sharing my story, I hope more and more parents and institutions encourage high school graduates to take some time to decide their future to lessen future regret, contempt, and wasted resources. I hope that high school graduates themselves find the courage and strategies to be able to build up self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and independence outside of a school setting.

Stay tuned! I am brewing with so many ideas and I can’t wait to share them with all of you. What a time to be alive!

Love and light,

Amanda 15 October 2022


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