On the last day of English class, Ms. Wallace gave each of us personalised bookmarks with quotes from The School of Life's Book of Bookmarks, centred around the theme of reading. Mine is as follows: "The moment we cry in a book is often not when things are sad but when they turn out to be more beautiful than we expected. We cry about our hopes." As you can imagine, it made me tear up. This was one of the many moments in my life where my emotions bubbled up and out of me like an unstoppable fountain. I have always questioned why I feel certain things the way I do, one of the main reasons I studied psychology in the International Baccalaureate.
Sensitivity is a PR nightmare, it has a bad reputation. It is widely perceived as a weakness, something to hide or stow away in favour of strength or toughness. Sensitivity is a crack in the facade, a chink in the armour if you will. And this is a problem. The more we bottle up that which pains us, the more likely we are to transfer this to other people. Hurt people hurt people. Additionally, maintaining an image of perpetual unbothered-ness (did I invent a word?) prevents us from seeking the help we need. Whether you like it or not, you're human and you feel things.
Before I go any further, this isn't a self-help article. I'm not here to magically make your problems disappear. I'm here to make people like me feel a little less alone in a world that is highly stressful right now.
Here's a checklist on key characteristics of Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) I found from an article entitled, 'The Secret Life of a Highly Sensitive Person'
Your empathic nature makes you a master of emotional intelligence and relating to others.
You have a vibrant inner life. For you, being alone is grounding, not lonely.
You think before you act. This means you excel at strategy and planning — that is, if you can move past second-guessing yourself and perfectionism-induced procrastination.
You are conscientious and prepare, which makes you trustworthy and reliable. But if you’re caught off-guard in a meeting or conversation, you get easily overstimulated and may recoil.
You’re able to sense conflict and mitigate it before it becomes a problem (and often before others are even aware of it). This is one reason HSPs are great problem solvers and team members.
You have a low annoyance threshold. It’s particularly hard for you to work in noisy (sirens going by are the worst), overly bright, or aesthetically abrasive environments. You have trouble concentrating if you feel slightly uncomfortable. You also might be extra-sensitive to fragrances or coarse fabrics.
You love connecting with people, but at a big party you’re most likely to be found in a quiet corner chatting with a few people, getting into deep, far-ranging topics (or hanging out with the resident dog or cat).
You are deeply moved by art, literature, or music and often unexplainably affected after witnessing the pain or suffering of other human beings. This is why HSPs tend to excel in careers like medicine, teaching, and even social entrepreneurship, but it also means HSPs need to be mindful about the news and content they consume.
You cry more easily, both from sadness and happiness.
This checklist could easily be an oversimplification, like those personality tests that take anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes online. They're telling you what you could already know to be true. But for some of you in denial of your sensitivity, this might be the indicator you need to embrace another facet of yourself.
I only recently came into my power, my sensitivity in the last two years. I was in an environment that allowed to me to unequivocally be myself. Being sensitive and vulnerable to the plights of others helped me connect in ways I never imagined. It is what drew others to seek solace in my comfort and in my words. I never like giving unsolicited advice. Rather, I allow my friends to feel that what they are going through is never a solitary journey, that they are walking paths that hundreds before have gone through. I assist them in looking inside theirselves to find what the motivation they need, the little bit of sunshine to brighten their day. And always remind them that they are loved.
Even if I am not in that environment anymore, I choose to stick by these core values of being true to myself. This life is too short for me to be bending over backwards to please people. My English teacher called me 'the artist who feels so intensely about the world', and I don't think I would be known any other way. Thank you for believing in me, Miss Wallace.
Much love and light,
Amanda
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