Teatime Talks: Mortality and the Afterlife

Photo by Mathew MacQuarrie on Unsplash

Reposting this from the blog I contributed to in my second and final year in UWC. This was the product of a writing workshop conducted by my friend and former boarding house intern, Calvin Ramelan.

Disclaimer: mentions death; please do not continue reading further if this is a topic you are uncomfortable addressing.

It was a normal weekday evening. Teatime was well underway. People clasped cups of warm jasmine tea in their hands. A steady breeze filled the air with random shouts here and there. I leaned back, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I felt this immense love from the people around me which I have never felt before. Memories of life back at home flash before my eyes, one of them stood out like a lone street lamp in a dingy alley. When I was around 15 or 16, not too long ago, I vividly remember being comfortable with the notion of dying at any moment. I had simple needs and as far as I was concerned, they were met. My family had a roof over our heads, we were in good health and getting along fine. There was no need for me to take care of any urgent matter and I was content. I didn’t have a lot to ask from my life nor did I want anything else at this point. I had no struggles. Until I came to UWCSEA.

This particular teatime was not special by any means. There was no major celebration or holiday. It was well into the academic year, sometime between November and December when I had already experienced a lot of great moments: orientation, Weekend Away at Bintan, being given a free ticket to see Formula One and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, spending October break in Vietnam and everything in between. I had several thoughts this night, none of which stood out to me. But at that moment, I took in the faces of every single person around the table, the twinkle in their eyes, the slight upturn in the corners of their mouths. I realized I shared something amazing with every single one of them and that was because I was lucky to be alive. I still am quite lucky to be alive. I found at that moment that I had a lot to live for and that more of these experiences were coming my way.

Fast forward to UWC Day the following academic year, around nine months later. Everyone in my grade is running around the 6th-floor lift lobby clucking like chickens in a crowded coop about IAs*, EEs**, and other acronyms. People have their devices out. It’s absolute chaos, an echo chamber of anxiety and tension. Out of the blue, our boarding house intern, Julia, reminds everyone that teatime is a safe space from IB-related business and attempts to start a meaningful conversation. We put our devices away. I don’t know how the conversation begins but pretty soon we start theorizing different ways Phuza could die, based on his personality traits. We also talk about the kind of over-the-top funerals we’d throw for our friends. The tension steadily dissipates. The lift lobby is filled with smells of various teas from around the world, a celebration of different cultures on this day. It is an interesting smell, to say the least. I was sipping on a cup of Hungarian chocolate marzipan tea when the conversation shifted from its comedic tone to a more contemplative one.

Chris, one of the houseparents, poses a question. “Does the notion of a good or bad afterlife shape our everyday behaviors?”. Someone answered that it wouldn’t hurt just to be good for our entire lives, even without the promise of a good afterlife. No matter how much our opinions differed, we all shared one thing in common: the fear of death. A fear of ceasing to exist at any moment, a fear of the unknown. For once, the only deadline we were all thinking about was one we all face: death. Definitely, something to explore in further discussions.

If a conversation like this was brought up at home, I wouldn’t have had the courage to answer or share my thoughts. Death seemed like a personal thing to me. But in this space, I felt secure. I felt like no matter what I would share, everyone present would still think the same of me. This is what makes me cling to enjoying every second I have while I am still here in the boarding house. While I am still in this lifetime. I went from being numb to a lot of things in my life to feeling everything all at once in this place. It can be overwhelming at times, but I am still so grateful to call this place my home and discover more things about myself through unconventional conversations.

Much love and light,

Amanda

22 September 2021

*IA - Internal Assessment: subject-related work assessed by a teacher instead of an external International Baccalaureate examiner; most likely a short research paper that evaluates the knowledge and skills of the student

**EE- Extended Essay : a 4000-word independent research paper undertaken as a requirement to pass the IB; students pick a focus and work with an advisor to craft a well-written academic paper